How comfortable is it for you to interact with potential clients? If all of a sudden you are starting to feel uncomfortable talking to the person in front of you because they’re a potential client, then what you are likely doing is that you’re putting this person into what we call an “out-group”.
What an out-group and in-group is – as neurobiologists call – something that comes from our primitive brain when we’re trying to protect ourselves against the strangers, against the foreigners that may cause some danger to us. So it is a very nurturing side of our brain you might say that is only trying to protect us.
But of course in our modern life, it comes back to us in different ways. For example just like in this, not being able to talk to the person right in front of you because all of a sudden they are – you recognise them as being a potential client.
First thing that we do when we are having a hard time interacting with the person in front of us is to try to eradicate all the labels. Listen for the feeling behind what this person is expressing to us. That ties back to our talk on subconscious and how most of our in fact cognitive and otherwise life is dominated by subconscious and how our subconscious mind does not have words but mostly feelings to describe.
So coming back to the person in front of us and how to connect with them, we are as I said tuning into the feeling that they’re trying to express, through what our conversation is bringing about. You can feel the difference yourself when you’re talking to someone and not just listening to what they’re thinking, what their judgments might be, even about you, but to listen to the feeling underneath, without taking things personally or becoming self-conscious about the situation. But just tuning into their feelings. What are they feeling in that situation and what need in fact are they trying to express through those feelings?
Once we are able to speak to those needs, then the nature and the energy of the whole conversation shifts into a very different direction than if we follow our thinking, if we follow their thinking and try to communicate on that level.
So this was of communicating with your potential clients. I hope you found the tips useful. Please let me know by dropping a comment below. I will see you later.