I do not write about being a mother anymore since I changed my site but as I think that need is the mother of most inventions. I have to highlight this mini rant on new mother isolation with an idea for a solution. Dedicated spaces for mothers to have adult time with their babies around. I heard about I visited a couple of places that were looking to cash on the “there are a lot of mothers around” trend but I have to stay they all were poorly executed good ideas.
Most new mothers do not expect to face the drastic isolation they face after the birth of their baby. This is a steep learning curve coupled up with working to understand and tend to the needs of their little one. For most, especially mothers of multiples, this isolation can extend for the whole year of two until they find enough courage and determination to open up to the world again.
Babies and toddlers need attention and intense care, which keeps mothers on edge 24/7, until they learn how to express their needs, patience to get these needs met and learn to be more cautious then they are curious. This means a mother has to wait for someone else to be present to attend to her most basic needs from eating to bathing and even going to the washroom.
The usual cafés and restaurants are usually not an option for her to hand out anymore and most of her work friends or the ones with older or no kids do not enjoy the company as much if they are not prepared to feed, play and watch out for the baby during most of the conversation.
In all this change and isolation, except for waiting for a family member, a willing friend or a husband to show up, what can a mother do to get some support and protect her mental health? I am talking about having steady spaces of support where her kids are entertained, maybe even trained for life skills, rather than places that are open only for two hour that parents share with the senior art class. Where are these safe, spaces where she can have some adult time and get a chance to have tea with a kindred soul without being hassled by other patrons who does not want to have anything to do with the antics of a baby or a toddler?
Outside parks are great in good weather, relatives are great when they have the interest and time, nannies are even better provided that a mother can afford and trust them fully. Considering how unpredictable the above-mentioned supports are for a new mother, I insist that these safe, educational, entertaining and undisturbed havens, would be the clear choice for most and thus is a must.